Powerrrrrrr-less

9/13/2012

I'm a huge fan of Top Gear UK. I have tried getting into the United States version, and like most shows, the British just do it better. Jeremy Clarkson, who is hilarious on multiple levels, loves to utilize as much power as a vehicle will give him. He gets to drive all sorts of toys, like Ferraris, Mercedes, Lambo-whatevers...but the funny thing is when he is driving a shitbox and is racing, the moment he passes one of the other co-hosts, he yells "POWERRRRRRRR!!!!!!". I swear he must have one of the best jobs in the world.

I, on the other hand, have no POWERRRRR!!!! I got my status, and while I can book all these great seats (if available), I can't seem to ever get myself into a better seat. It's better than what it used to be, but it really sucks right now. I got stuck in the middle seat on Monday. How the fuck did that happen?

Monday was ridiculous in its own right. I get to the airport, and it is bustling a bit, meaning I'll finally get to use my "Priority Access" to bypass the line of peasants. I get in line, and see that the cattle line isn't really that long. As I am standing in line, I see the line to my right which is First Class and airline personnel. That line and my line lead to the same TSA agent, and they get precedence. I'm waiting there and finally that line is empty so my line starts up again. And then a bunch of foreign nationals show up in the line, and I can guarantee that they are not flying first class...I know that might sound a little harsh, but the truth is they were in wheelchairs and that is why they got pushed to the front of the line. Ok, I understand. But I see a young kid, late teens/early twenties, get into the cattle line and zoom right through. I have a conversation with the guy in back of me "Why do I have this if I can't get through? This is a rip off....blah blah blah". Honestly though...People are paying for access that doesn't mean a damn thing. If Priority Access could be split up into "Security Access" and "Board Plane Early Access", I'd probably go for the latter.

I get into my destination, and I forgot to rent a car. I had to have my wife book me a rental, and I ended up getting a Mazda 5. I think to myself "Self, a Mazda 3 ain't so bad, and a Mazda 6 is pretty good. Maybe a 5 will be a great car!!!" I was mistaken. It is a rectangular minivan. I should have had spent McDonald's cups and dirty cleats in my trunk.

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I cooked for some coworkers last night. The grill at the hotel is beastly, but not in a great way. It is extremely hot, but while I was searing the steaks, you couldn't really judge how long they should be on there for because the extreme heat was sizzling the outside, and I am positive the inside was still relatively raw.

After dinner, a coworker and I go out to a local bar for a quick beer and conversation. As we come back, she suggests the side door because it is closer to her room. Thank heavens she chose that door, because not 2 seconds after entering the hotel, we see a guy exit his room in his boxers with a hooker in hand. It was fan-fucking-tastic! Sorry. It was inappropriate. No..It was pretty cool. The problem is, my coworker kept purposely blocking my vision so I couldn't see this young lady in her undies. She has SEX for a living!! Let me see this girl's rear end in all its glory. He already paid her for her services I'm sure. She won't care if I sneak a peak.

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My coworker mentioned that every time she gets on the shuttle to and from the airport/car rental building, she gets "evaluated" by the gentlemen on the bus. To be fair, she is an attractive woman, but I find that the nonchalant glances work a lot better than making a woman uncomfortable by staring...which is apparently what guys do to this girl.

Don't stare at girls on the bus. It makes them uneasy. Please, when stalking, do it from a distance. End of Public Service Announcement.